While the "professionals" will rely on their list of "good and spiritual things to say" when someone is grieving....you could be MUCH more effective by simply listening, BEING with them (not on your cell phone or watching tv) - this is the Ministry of Presence - and praying silently or aloud if the person asks you to do so.
It’s a HUGE honor to be invited into someone else's grieving, pain, disappointment.
Bless the person by practicing the Ministry of Presence.
And, oh...for goodness sakes DO NOT tell them it is God's will that they are suffering (even if that's true....the devil will, in their grief, cause them to blame God for things the devil himself has brought into their lives) and DO NOT tell them it’s okay.
It’s not okay - THAT'S why they are hurting so much.
Resist the temptation to say anything, especially Christian catch phrases.
JUST love them by being with them.
It’s hard to be quiet and not try to make people feel better. That’s because WE don’t want that discomfort but sometimes that discomfort is the embodiment of our love and it is SO worth it.
However, God knit into every human the need to FEEL what's real....and in grief what is real is the pain.
They MUST be free to feel and express that...
In cases like this, loving another means STAYING there with them, uncomfortable and wanting to cry with them.
If that's what happens....cry with them.
We are even commanded to do so:
"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and WEEP WITH THOSE WHO WEEP." (Romans 12:15)
It is an honor to be included in the grief of another.
Practicing the Ministry of Presence helps our grieving brethren from falling into or remaining in the trap satan loves to establish of being separated from the Body of Christ.